kind of long, but that's what happens i guess when i never update this anymore... plus, i guess i'm just really shocked that people can be this rude.
i often feel a great urge to help out others when they need it. even when a complete stranger needs something small, and if i'm fully capable, then i'm more than willing to help out. usually it's just something like directions, or even if it's questions about grad school, photography, or weight lifting, i am glad to provide any bit of advice that i can. the intent of this writing is not to paint a portrait of me as being atypically generous or selfless, but rather the opposite; i've always believed that i am typical in my generosity or charity. i believe my friends would donate their time and help just as willingly and eagerly as i do, and i have always thought that most people share these traits, too. recently, i'm starting to think that i'm wrong, and that the general population can at times be way more rude than what i've thought.
sure, there can be outliers, and one may occasionally see some punk driver or someone act completely rude to someone at a store or something. this isn't about that. i'm referring to situations that occur repeatedly and within a pretty neutral medium that would contain a distribution of people that is pretty unbiased and representative of the population at large.
the first example that comes to mind is craigslist. during my transitions of moving, i've had to sell stuff on craigslist several times. let's say 7 separate listings. craigslist surely covers a wide spectrum of individuals. many times, it goes like this:
- i post ad on craigslist
- several people express interest
- i contact the first responder. they arrange a time that they will come to my place to pick it up (once, i agreed for their bringing a uhaul at a certain time)
- they never come
- i call them to see what's up; no response. i leave a voicemail.
- i never hear back from them
this was mostly in LA. and, when i'm the buyer, similar stories occur, whereby they may respond to an email or even say that i can come at a certain time. later, i find out that they in fact sold it to someone else. this is even with my acting very quickly, too. it's not just like $25 misc tables or anything; this has happened with my buying a car for around $4k, and my renting an apartment (after we arrange a time later in the day for me to go give them money, i find out that they went ahead and sold it to someone else). it's not only surprising that people don't have the decency to keep their word, but that they don't even have the decency to follow up.
but, i didn't get caught up with this. i just dismissed it and convinced myself that maybe it's an LA thing, or maybe it's just because these situations don't involve face-to-face confrontation, so they can hide behind craigslist emails or unanswered cells. seeing people hold the door for each other in real life, well, things like this serve as assurance to me that people are all still nice in real life, ya know. not quite.
today, sheley and i went to the movies at 2pm. upon purchasing tickets, we were informed there were few seats remaining, so finding two contiguous seats may be hard. we braved it anyway and went into the theatre, only to find a packed house. there were a few singleton seats open, and a few people shifting due to the movie attendants' instruction. but, two seats together was impossible. the point is that we saw how desperate people were to find 2 consecutive seats together, and how badly some people wanted to find a seat. a huge slew of us had to return our tickets and wait for the 3pm showing. no biggie.
we get seats early for the 3pm showing. as we watch more and more people pack into the theater, we see what it was like to be us just 1 hour earlier, now from the other perspective. we see people desperately looking for seats. having just been in their shoes, sheley and i were sympathetic and very willing to move seats to help make room. to our surprise, nobody else was. it made no sense at all.
first, we saw a couple desperately ask someone to slide down one seat in order to open up 2 consecutive seats. the woman refused to move. i actually didn't believe that it happened. i thought that surely we didn't read the situation right, and that the seat was reserved or something. nope.
second occasion: in the row right in front of us, there was an open seat. a boyfriend desperately wanting a seat for his girlfriend and himself asked the kid in front of us to slide over. the kid simply replied, 'um... sorry, i rather not.' what type of ownership does this kid feel with his chair? he's been there maybe 10 minutes, and he's already that attached and unwilling to move? the boyfriend asked again, to which the kid had no good excuse other than, 'sorry, i rather not.' the boyfriend left in frustration, exclaiming 'thats pretty inconsiderate!'
third occasion: same open seat in front of us, but the people on the other side of the seat were asked to shift one seat over. those being asked to slide over avoided answering for a second, until a girl in the group finally responded, 'we've actually already been here for like 20 minutes.' so what? this makes you entitled to not help out others? this example is just so hard to believe because it takes an insanely minimal amount of effort on their behalf, and it would bring the other party so much pleasure. yet, even with direct confrontation, people not only refused to help out, but repeatedly vocalized their refusal to help in a defensive manner with confidence. it's as if they were asserting, 'how dare you ask me to move. it's your fault.'
it was so very strange to witness.
