this quarter has been probably the most ill-directed, confusing, uncertain time periods i've ever had. additionally, it was probably the one where i lacked the most ambition and had the least amount of focus. ever since my sophomore yr of college, my drive has been slowly down-shifting and has been weakened by my growing interest in being as well-balanced as i can. i still have goals, but coursework is just a chore to me, for the most part.
there are some classes that interest me, but i'm sadly becoming a lazy, cocky student, i guess? the coursework here at ucla is the most challenging i've had, but because we are not flooded with assignments, it's easy to lose discipline. plus, the caliber of the work here is almost discouraging a bit. for example, at florida tech, say i knew enough to get a 98 on an exam. with that same knowledge, it doesn't guarantee me anything beyond a 50 here. so, it's difficult to have the motivation to really master the material to that degree. i'm not burned out; rather, it's just that i've had the full-cycle of experiences as a student. i know what it's like to fail, to succeed, to be without hope, and to be overwhelmed with work. i've witnessed it all. it's just labor now. it's just repeating history. i'm not complaining; i'm just trying to understand why i'm so careless as a student lately.
well, i think my 4 flights out of town within this 10-week quarter made it really tough for me to focus on school and treat it seriously. i didn't even know where i was going to work this summer. and, i wasn't nearly as self-disciplined with my personal life as i should have been. i needed to exercise better time management skills. it made finals week hell. it's one thing to cram a whole course into 2 days of studying at florida tech. here, it's just impossible for me. i don't want to be that horrible position again. so, i have goals for next quarter:
there are some classes that interest me, but i'm sadly becoming a lazy, cocky student, i guess? the coursework here at ucla is the most challenging i've had, but because we are not flooded with assignments, it's easy to lose discipline. plus, the caliber of the work here is almost discouraging a bit. for example, at florida tech, say i knew enough to get a 98 on an exam. with that same knowledge, it doesn't guarantee me anything beyond a 50 here. so, it's difficult to have the motivation to really master the material to that degree. i'm not burned out; rather, it's just that i've had the full-cycle of experiences as a student. i know what it's like to fail, to succeed, to be without hope, and to be overwhelmed with work. i've witnessed it all. it's just labor now. it's just repeating history. i'm not complaining; i'm just trying to understand why i'm so careless as a student lately.
well, i think my 4 flights out of town within this 10-week quarter made it really tough for me to focus on school and treat it seriously. i didn't even know where i was going to work this summer. and, i wasn't nearly as self-disciplined with my personal life as i should have been. i needed to exercise better time management skills. it made finals week hell. it's one thing to cram a whole course into 2 days of studying at florida tech. here, it's just impossible for me. i don't want to be that horrible position again. so, i have goals for next quarter:
- classes + studying should = ~8 hours (i did absolutely no studying at all this quarter. just hw and classes)
- gym each day (i luckily kept this up)
- weekends = brief review of school + an LA event each weekend
- stay on campus more during the days (laptop should help)
- attend a ucla campus event at least 1 per 2 weeks (there are numerous per day)
- bring a lunch each day (i need a lunchbox. wow, kindergarten days all over again)
- speak up in class (i did a few times during the 1st week of ucla, but thats the only time in my 18 yrs)
- go to teacher's office hrs if needbe (i never have, usually because i'm still trying to learn the stuff first)
well, at 5am tomorrow, i'm hopping on a plane to go back home for spring break. i can't wait.
